I solemnly swear I'm up to no good

Nah, just kidding. I'm such a guai kia...

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is in cinemas already! Really want to watch it. I've been a HP fan since the first book and I used to always go online to mugglenet to see the discussions on the plot. Super fun until the last book came out and it wasn't so interesting anymore. Rowling should have pretended or at least released rumours that an eighth book was coming out so people would still be hanging on for more. Like the Twilight series. After the series supposedly ended with Breaking Dawn, apparently there's going to be a fifth vampire book called "Midnight Sun", a companion novel to the Twilight series. It's a retelling of the story from Edward's perspective. I think it's just a ploy to suck people's money. I'll still read it though, but only on the internet. Haha! 

Anyway, I slept for close to 15 hours from around 9pm to 12nn. :) Not feeling exactly refreshed but I suppose it'll do. And I seriously hope it rains because it has been horribly stuffy since yesterday so I need some rain to cool down. Urgh...

Since it's a Saturday, I have "a lot" of time for school work. Shall attempt Sampling tutorial and one Econs case study for revision (or maybe I shall leave that for tomorrow)...

救我！

Okay, I've been diligently drowning myself in Source Based Questions for the past few evenings/nights. I don't know why, but I seem to have developed this ability to derive saddistic pleasure from forcing myself to evaluate sources one after another in chunky paragraphs. It's highly satisfying completing the paragraphs one by one, even more so when you can end abruptly because conclusions are worthless if your essay doesn't have a L5 grade to be pushed up by L6 by the conclusion. Heheh!

Anyway, I had a brief chat with Sieuping on MSn after seeing her MSN PM: Life's like a circle of hot coals having a few cool places; a path we have to run over incessantly.

Actually, this was from a article in today's Mind Your Body which I happened to read whilst in the toilet. =) The article struck me as I found I could really agree with it. It said something like how when people are feeling down or depressed, cheering them up doesn't usually have any effect because that's not what the person wants. They want someone who is able to sympathise with them, someone who has walked down the same path before. I suppose there's some form of camaraderie there, something comforting in the least. I think it makes a lot of sense.Many a time when I feel down, I don't exactly appreciate someone trying to cheer me up. Okay, appreciate the effort is one thing. The end result is another thing.

In fact, we were both in agreement that naive optimism borders on the edge of irritating. I acknowledge that it's someone elses business if they wish to live in self-denial and act as if there really gold at the end of the rainbow for each and every single one of us. But that's simply not the case. No disneyland or fairytales here baby! Extreme optimism isn't the way to go. Heck, we might even all be gone by 2012- even before I graduate from University! (assuming I get in in the first place...)

But then again, we live only once, why not "be happy"? Or least pretend to be. I think happiness is highly intangible like a dementor, an unquantifiable little squiggle of thing that is evasive like the golden snitch. If you do catch it, you would have to release it again to be kept and hidden away in the box of Quidditch balls and wait for the next game of Quidditch. It's a passing thing. We're bloody insatiable beings. Hurhur. Okay, back to the optimism thing.

Admittedly, it'd be difficult to "force" optimism on someone who is feeling pessimistic. It's kind of durh -.- actually but I think pessimists would feel more comfortable if there wasn't someone who tries to stuff a bunch of roses and candyfloss down your throat. It would be hard to swallow, yea? Actually, I don't think I'm either, not extremist anyway. We should all sit on the fence and at most endure the fence poking our butts. Like the ASEAN Way- gotong royong? Consensus my foot.

Okay, I'm letting the SBQs get to me. Cannot, must control stress and frustration which are detrimental to productivity and leads to lesser units of output with the same amount of resources. Now, I shall practise self-censorship and end this post before I hop off the fence and say/type/write something radical. Okay, I won't because I'm a peace loving tree-hugger.  Peace sign! \/ !! I have self-realisation that I'm starting to ramble. (This is called applying what you learn in school...)

So I shall go and sleep now amd save cucumber slices for those 黑眼圈.

Freakishly sleepy today. Was just slightly better than the walking zombie I'd expect myself to be if I keep up with this routine for the next 50 smth days before Prelims. :o

I can't even sit still without swaying now... I shall sleep earlier today. If anyone sees me online after 11pm, then... good for you. But I can always appear offline anyway. Although I think that it's kind of pointless appearing offline unless you're like monitoring who's online then suddenly sign in to spring a surprise in that little blue box at the bottom right hand corner of your screen. (Haha. It's not much of a surprise anyway.)

I think I was particularly motivated today despite being in a half-comatose state during lessons.

One particularly lesson was highly enlightening. About a particular subject. Sorry, I prefer 脚踏实地... Hurhur. I found it quite a waste of my time, especially when I was so freaking hungry!!! Not to mention sleepy.

Okay, time to study study study... >.<

No title :(

I'm pathetically eating my dinner in front of the computer now. Because I slept for 2 1/2 hours just now. Too tired, couldn't take it.

Anyway, I think Wednesday are Machine Gun days. The lessons are so packed and there are so many things being thrown at you one after another. Okay, so maybe not really a machine gun but something else luh. Brain not really functioning properly after yesterday night's crazy headache...

Oh crap. I forgot what I wanted to say. Stupid STM.

Oh yes, remembered le. Stupid T3A. I have the last remaining "achievement" which has yet gotten approval. I put it as mentoring the yr 4s for their Quiz Comp but apparently Ms Lim doesn't think it's significant enough. She doesn't know how much blood, sweat and tears we poured into this "investment" which is getting the Ho Peng Kee trophy for DHSNPCC. We're so dedicated but she don't want to recognise... :( But now we don't even know whether and when the competition is going to be held at all! It was previously around this time period but now due to H1N1, CCA all stopped temporarily. Really hope we'll get some good news soon because even though I honestly feel that the team(s) have a relatively slim chance of getting into the finals, at least give them a chance to use the knowledge they have gained from the QC experience (if they have any at all). And at least have a glimmer of hope to beat Jenny's RGS team. Haha!

And there's apparently something wrong with my Lappy's battery. It cannot be turned on if I don't plug it in. It kind of defeats the purpose of being a laptop then... >.<

Oh and then, after PCCG period today, Ms Leong called some of those who were remaining in the class for a little "chit-chat". She's quite disappointed by my results and I wholeheartedly agree with her. Really missed out on capitalizing on Econs for an A grade. Well, what's done is done.

So I must get going.

(I realise that a large majority of my posts will be similar in the run up to the A-levels, talking about studying/ motivation/ goals/ targets/ yada yada... It'll be boring. Haha!)

P.S. I only said that "Paper 1 was alright except at the beginning where it's really yan hua liao luan when the same topics are slotted into different question types. Evil... Paper 2 was a freaking killer! Like --------------------- dead." ROFL. I think I might be going mad. Just might.

Burn

Ms Krishnan said that we should be starting to burn. Not literally burst into flames or get rid of calories but yes, burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Like mug-burn. All the way to Prelims and As now. Hoho. Just 2 days of school and I feel like crap. Sleep is precious and scarce! >.<

Today before/after H3, Yann Chyng (oops. I don't know where the double N comes in...) said she wanted to drop H3 econs. Made me feel like dropping as well. I don't know why but I just have the feeling that I must and need to settle my H2 and H1 subjects first. Now they are all pretty mediocre. What if cannot get into Uni?!? GG-fied can. Okay, I shan't go into the "what ifs". But it's damn scary leh. No local Uni to go and no money to fly off to some foreign land. No NS also- unless I opt for it? Haha.

It's also partly because it doesn't feel like we're actively learning anything. Reading list? Hurhur. Read also cannot really remember what the book was talking about. Then if A levels cannot pass H3, then it won't be reflected in the cert leh. (only in the report slip) But Mr GL says having just a PASS grade is better than not having at all. And he seems confident that we'll pass even though most of us are still pretty much clueless about the whole syllabus. But! There's going to be actual teaching and lecturing in a few more weeks on those concepts and theories. Seriously, like YAY! (Couldn't have imagined myself saying this before) The whole seminar paper thing is like ......................................................................................................... Difficult to really learn anything we can actively apply in the essay unless it's the same topic or if the same concepts covered (few though) are useful. Meep meep! Happy leh. Looks like won't die so badly already bah.

Okay, need to go do homework now. I think I'll leave fa zheng xian feng 2 to Sunday to chiong luh. Must get addicted to the feeling of success when I complete any piece of work. *practises hypnosis on myself* siao ah!

Deprovement

I know there's no such thing as "deprovement" but I don't care. I freaking hell DEPROVED for this CTs!!! It's not surprising though. I knew that I hadn't put in 100% for most of the subjects so part of me is quite anguished about the lack of mugging part. But still, it's nobody's fault but mine. Nobody nobody but me! *clap clap point clap* Nobody nobody but me! *clap clap point clap*

 Drop from 68 to 63.75. Don't know about moderation as of now. But it's pointless anyway luh. BBBCD. E.lit was bad but I didn't know it was going to be this bad. Like eeeeeeek! (But I'm quite happy that 8 hours of P&P translated to at least a B grade essay. So this does show that effort does pay off~) Maths was a pleasant surprise as well. I knew I didn't practise enough but enough exam strategy and some luck got me that C. (Next time must not count on luck already...) I'm actually very amazed to the extent that it's amusing that our class highest for Maths is only like 63 while other classes have saddistic scores like 94?! Such a huge disparity can. Are we really ALL that bad or we just live up to expectations of humanities-inclined-hence-less-maths-inclined people...?

Econs Macro case study was a stunner. Barely passed it with 15/30 and it dragged me down from A to B grade. Damn 夸张 can. So no more As for me. History overall was okay. Standard marks- must find a way to 突破. And Ms Krishnan says that I'm a "confident writer" and that I am able to finish my essays very quickly. I didn't think she noticed. But she also said that my essays need to be "tighter"- have to find out what that means... Hmm...

GP was honestly the result I'm the most satisfied with. Got my personal best of 34/50 for paper 1 which came quite a bit as a pleasant surprise. Paper 2- not as good with 1.5/8 for the first page. Kena owned... Shall figure it out and aim for A now. Heh. Okay, analyzing complete.

Seriously need to start planning revision schedules now. I shall also make a conscious effort to avoid most forms of unnecessary forms of entertainment to reserve my time to hit the books. This time, it shall not be ATNE. 加油！

Bored ttm.

After doing HBL for the whole afternoon and watching Taiwan videos for a while, I was bored enough to watch "Sheila Patek clocks the fastest animals" on Ted.com. Amazing stuff. Haha! I also watched some others including this one "Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity".

No harm watching. I find it highly intriguing and it does seem to make a whole lot of sense anyway. Maybe I am actually a very talented dancer but my talent was "educated" out of me. We'll never know for sure now. 
 
School's in tomorrow. No more boring weekends. Actually it was boring because I was highly reluctant to start on any new dramas. 

Oh yes, I think I was positively hostile to almost everyone who talked to me on MSN today. Apologies! :)

Hmm

The past few days I've been having this 莫名的 nervousness. I have no idea why. Surely not because of the returning of CT papers because I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that it probably won't be much of a good thing. I'm still harbouring some hopes though (why not?) even have this "bet" on with Sieuping whether we can beat our promos scores (the total points thing) and if have, must treat drink. Haha... Add a bit of excitement into my mundane life cannot ah? :)

Feeling somewhat moody. Maybe it's because of the rain which Shunjie thinks is so pretty, no? Or maybe it's because the Harry Potter movies are only screened on consecutive Saturdays. If it were both on Saturday and Sunday, I'll probably feel more excited. Haha!

Anyway, it seems that the new timetable though not really much different from before, is quite crazy. Now, instead of 4.5 hours of free periods, I have 5! F-I-V-E hours... Before GP 1.5 hour lecture in the afternoon. Sure sleep one can that kind of timing... ZZZ.

Now also ZZZ.

On a sidenote, I think I shall make it a point to reply to tags. I normally just leave them as they are. Haha.

Eighteen?

Woo. It's official! I'm 18, like e-i-g-h-t-e-e-n years old as of today. I think I supposed to feel older and more matured? Screw that. Anyway, today was pretty interesting because at 8.45am, I heard my mum say "Hi!" very loudly and a lot of suspicious whispering. Automatically woke up and switched to standby "fight or flight" mode. So I surprised the whole bunch of people that came instead of them surprising me... Haha. Same thing for the cake with whipped cream. Difficult to ambush me leh! :)

But it was nice of them to get up so early to come and "surprise" me. Jasvin made a cheesecake which my parents praised to the skies and thought was store-bought. Haha... (Feel honoured Ms Wuu, my dad hardly praises any type of food. Heheh...) And they got me 曹格's latest album- 超级4th场! I just happened to put the title on my PM and casually mentioned that it was nice. Clever people. And the photo thing was like O.O! But it's okay, I 照单全收 (if there's such a phrase) Heheh. Yea, so a big thanks to everyone who came (and disrupted my planned HBL morning... jkjk) Really appreciate it. Oh, as well as everyone who sent a message, whether on MSN or SMS or by 飞鸽传书! (Sidenote: I think people who list down every single person who sent them a birthday message are damn loserish! Can ask me for the details. Rofl.)

Actually, I don't really feel any significant difference. Haha. It's not like overnight you'll become a totally different person. But still, there are "benefits" or "milestones" at this age- it's now legal to booze and watch M-18 movies. It's quite pointless though. Any random kid who is smart enough will be able to watch whatever he wants on the internet even if it's rated R-21. So it's pretty much more of a symbolic thing. Okay, I don't know what I'm rambling about.

Argh. I can't find something damn important now. And another important thing that I already couldn't find quite some time ago. Goodness me.

Oh oh. I almost forgot to share this. Grace shared this with me. OMG CUTE.



Fwalalala.